I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so let's talk penis.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
