dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
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the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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