Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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