Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
