just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
