Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't deserve a penis
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
