maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
