white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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