Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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