apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
