i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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