Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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