I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
