my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im six kinds of drunk right now
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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