So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
