Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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