Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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