He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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