It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize