omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
