Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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