you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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