I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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