Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize