That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
