I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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