Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
