Im at strip club and am horny
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
