He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
