apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
