had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment