Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Randomize
Follow @tfln