Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.