the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize