Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life