My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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