I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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