I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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