Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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