Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
