He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
