So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize