Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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