And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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