Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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