I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
