piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
