Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
