Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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