So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
