Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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