I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize