last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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