Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
