He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.