Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick http://tfl.nu/tgso
  Replies (27) Good night (3768) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy. http://tfl.nu/pes5
  Replies (12) Good night (591) Bad night (3978)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"? (1-514): Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/v19o
  Replies (5) Good night (2609) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese. http://tfl.nu/zywb
  Replies (21) Good night (732) Bad night (3899)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot http://tfl.nu/fwe0
  Replies (9) Good night (3940) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (669): View more from California

  sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (669): sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall http://tfl.nu/w8x8
  Replies (24) Good night (1361) Bad night (4764)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone? http://tfl.nu/d362
  Replies (8) Good night (1642) Bad night (2597)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any. http://tfl.nu/g0ay
  Replies (5) Good night (615) Bad night (2304)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's got a legit dose of dude going on

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden (202): She's got a legit dose of dude going on (240): No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne. http://tfl.nu/qro2
  Replies (7) Good night (996) Bad night (1875)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex. http://tfl.nu/0t9p
  Replies (24) Good night (5206) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0
  Replies (9) Good night (912) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it. http://tfl.nu/fi43
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me http://tfl.nu/h7g4
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help http://tfl.nu/67cm
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that http://tfl.nu/ocbs
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (417)

Randomize