a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.