Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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