Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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  (952): True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you. http://tfl.nu/3inq
  Replies (35) Good night (1579) Bad night (3402)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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  (304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this http://tfl.nu/89bx
  Replies (18) Good night (4051) Bad night (671)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think college has really matured you.

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  (901): Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front. (662): I think college has really matured you. http://tfl.nu/th4l
  Replies (19) Good night (4613) Bad night (743)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

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  (516): She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her. http://tfl.nu/vneo
  Replies (3) Good night (914) Bad night (3066)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers

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  (931): I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers http://tfl.nu/gzzm
  Replies (8) Good night (2786) Bad night (1187)
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  (310): View more from California

  Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself

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  (310): Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself http://tfl.nu/e5tp
  Replies (3) Good night (1468) Bad night (592)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.

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  (803): I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me. http://tfl.nu/en2s
  Replies (2) Good night (1414) Bad night (503)
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  (530): View more from California

  He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.

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  (530): He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET. http://tfl.nu/u2s2
  Replies (2) Good night (1547) Bad night (555)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.

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  (316): Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift. http://tfl.nu/rzzb
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (877)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight

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  (813): I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight http://tfl.nu/hz5m
  Replies (4) Good night (559) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  The tryst?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.

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  (952): I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst. (1-952): The tryst? (952): The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity. http://tfl.nu/9sse
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player

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  (417): I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player http://tfl.nu/158m
  Replies (3) Good night (612) Bad night (479)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me

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  (514): In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me http://tfl.nu/f4ks
  Replies (0) Good night (901) Bad night (379)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.

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  (403): You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend. http://tfl.nu/t4di
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.

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  (608): Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments. http://tfl.nu/v10p
  Replies (3) Good night (343) Bad night (250)

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