Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

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(708): View more from Illinois

just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.

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(801): View more from Utah

He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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(909): View more from California

Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

as a side note pls kill me

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