Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Your face is a jimmy john

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Your face is a jimmy john http://tfl.nu/p2et
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl. http://tfl.nu/cxal
  Replies (23) Good night (1561) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch. http://tfl.nu/wqdf
  Replies (6) Good night (498) Bad night (3168)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath. http://tfl.nu/qhij
  Replies (15) Good night (684) Bad night (3471)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Wish you were here....

  (734): View more from Michigan

  And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Wish you were here.... (734): And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it? http://tfl.nu/j5nc
  Replies (36) Good night (2060) Bad night (6981)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out. http://tfl.nu/gjqc
  Replies (5) Good night (8293) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std? http://tfl.nu/jhp0
  Replies (17) Good night (1403) Bad night (3328)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas. http://tfl.nu/d95y
  Replies (6) Good night (2269) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum. http://tfl.nu/gdla
  Replies (8) Good night (1546) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round http://tfl.nu/fnz0
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day http://tfl.nu/nvho
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina http://tfl.nu/ymsd
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together! http://tfl.nu/bu70
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (1619)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck. http://tfl.nu/7r7g
  Replies (3) Good night (265) Bad night (898)

Randomize