Cold hands, warm shart.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
