Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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