Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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