Dual....:-)
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
