Plan B is the new Plan A
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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