We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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