Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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