@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize