a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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