I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
