Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
